Funny WhatsApp Status

If every day is a gift, I'd like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?

Do not expect me to say "bless you" after your fifth sneeze. By then you need to get your ass under control.

Instead of walking a mile in my shoes, just watch Netflix for 5 hours while eating snacks, and you’ll get the idea.

Twitter is a good excuse to talk to yourself without looking stupid.

when you forget to do homework and remember in bed then debate 

whether you should do it or leave it and sleep.

When I was in school, I had two favourite subjects
Lunch
Recess

My hatred for school gets bigger and bigger every single day.

I don’t understand people who feel refreshed after a nap?? I always wake up angry and rude.

When you've just finished watching your favorite series and you don't know what to do with your life anymore. 

How do parents really expect good grades when i push a pull door.

Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupidity.

I find it kinda attractive when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.

I really do hate when i offer some of my food and the person actually takes me up on it.

University Rule 1: Can you send me a pic of the homework?