Funny WhatsApp Status

It feels like heaven when your crush is single.

I just Googled, "Who gives a crap?" and I was not in the search results.

Not only do I sing in the shower, but I also dance. Jealous?

There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

My late night favourite sentence is:*lets order food*

Ur allowed to have 5 emotional minutes in the day then the rest of the day u gotta be a gangsta

There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.

8PM: "Just one more episode before bed.
2AM: "Who needs sleep anyway?"

i get ignored so much. my name should be terms and conditions.

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

I hate when I show someone something on my phone and they feel the need to grab it.

I laugh at my own texts before I send them because I'm damn funny.

2 minutes without you is like 120 seconds.

Don't trust me holding your child. You don't know how many mobiles I've cracked.

SI unit of ignorance = "Seen"
Symbol = (two blue ticks).

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

I'm probably the only person who sends you text at 12:04 and be asleep by 12:05.

Ops that's a bit harsh, let me put a 'lol' at the end.

"I don't watch tv", proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on internet.

Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have a solution, it's a girl.

Why is "All Together" written separately, but "Separately" is written all together?

Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?